Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
