My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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