I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
