i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
