he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
