hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize