His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
