Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
