Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
