question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
