Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
