So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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