Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
being pregnant is like rehab
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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