You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
