dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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