Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
