4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
