I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Nicole vs. Life
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
