you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
