smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
