he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom