Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize