I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
