Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
