Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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