Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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