You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
