Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
