well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
