Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
