We're facebook friends in real life
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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