how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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