Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
