If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
