i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
