Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
