I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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