Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
