Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
