I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
