My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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