I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
