Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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