We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
