he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
