I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
