why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The struggles of a small town man whore
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
