I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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