Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
