ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
