My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
