K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
