But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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