So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
