I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
