She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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