Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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