Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
