How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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