Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Barsexuality is the new black.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
