honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
